Sunday, December 05, 2004

When Life comes to a Standstill

To light a fuse

We could use

A hand full of wheel

And a day off

And a bruised road - Jeff Tweedy

I love my job but I was looking forward to getting away for the holiday and seeing my family but Laurie got sick. Now, I've got a day off. I slept late but I'd rather be running or riding my bike. Working until late and taking an hour or so to wind down doesn't lend itself to early rising.

Finished reading Heartaches by the Number yesterday and of course, I'm thinking in the melancholy that is Country music. Of course, as I get older, I'm more drawn to that. It speaks to me. You just get to realize that Hank Williams had the truth. I've been listening to Elvis Costello's Almost Blue in the truck on my way to work. It brings back so many memories of the vinyl version plus getting to hear Johnny Cash and George Jones. My in-laws also sent me a copy of the Byrds Sweetheart of the Rodeo which I have yet to play. But I, for some reason, really respond to Gram Parsons songs, which Almost Blue introduced to me.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Another Thought

Looking at my email, it struck me how many of them are not specifically for me. It often has less that catch my interest than the newspaper, which seems to take more time sorting out than actually reading.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

A Few Brewskis and I become Bobby Darin

We had our taste fair for the Holidays at the store last night, followed by a few drinks across the street, not at the store like last year. Anyway, it went really well until someone submitted my name to sing "Mack the Knife" at the Karaoke. Don't think it'll replace "Stand By Your Man" in my repertoire.

Laurie sent me this which captures my feelings exactly and apparently many others around the world.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Wake Up and Smell the Constitution Burning

I feel like I've been kicked, hard. I honestly don't remember feeling this bad after the attacks of 9/11; this feels worse. It's as though this country doesn't make sense to me anymore, like it's not the place where I was raised to believe I lived. I don't see Bush moving to the center, if anything, he'll go farther to the right. I just can't believe he's been elected. Before, I consoled myself by believing his presidency was not legitimate, that it was stolen, and real Americans didn't really want him. Now, I feel like I'm in some alien world, full of people who hate gays, racists, plutocrats, people who aren't like me. It's as if I've woken up to find myself living in a world of monsters.

Fear Uncertainty and Doubt proved to be the effective marketing strategy in this campaign. Cheney warned audiences that if they picked wrong, another terrorist attack could be imminent. It appears they believed him, not bothering to note under whose watch the worst terrorist attack on our soil came about. Vote for me or else.

And in 3 years, Cheney will appear again, making a speech where he says, " I know I said I had no ambitions for higher office but I believe now that I am the best candidate and I must enter the race." Or we'll be under Martial Law and the constitution will be gone.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Best Campaign Sticker Yet

In Which I am mistaken for a Third World Denizen

So today I went to Costco to shop for household items. On the list was:








I decided to take my Specialized Hardrock with the basket and netting. It was a beautiful morning and I rode through Hyde Park, enjoying it so much I almost went past Costco.

I had everything carefully loaded into the basket. Flat bread and Pita on the bottom. 2 bags of Quaker 100@% Natural on top of the Flat bread and next to the Pitas, 2 pounds of Provolone Cheese stacked on the Flat Bread. Eight boxes of Kleenex, or rather Kirkwood Select tissues stacked on top of the food (Costco only sells things in big bunches). On top of it all, a 2 pound flat of peaches, I wrapped the cargo net over the whole thing, stretching it to its limit. The only item that I didn't purchase was the bag of chips, which I could have carried if I only had a handlebar bag.

I got out of the parking lot and decided that the peaches might well fly out through the netting. Taking a plastic bag from my pocket, I covered the peaches and replaced the cargo net and rode carefully home. I was so proud and should have taken a picture.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

A Perfect Moment

Today we went to the sale at Bikes and Trikes for Tykes. I was looking for a serviceable touring bike frame that I could build up for a travel bike and eventually install S and S Couplings™. What I found was a wonderful Panasonic Touring Deluxe, perfectly fitted to me, with nice Araya rims, a lugged steel frame, Shimano 600 components, cantilever brakes and even a rack. It did also have a Brooks type leather saddle and some Shimano toe clipped pedals, neither of which I wanted. So, it was $120 and I am thrilled.

Back to the house, I put my own Brooks saddle, new tires (the old ones were dry-rotted to hell) and some Cinelli cork handlebar tape. It's getting wonderful, rides smoothly. I just need a saddlebag for it.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

A Bold New Day

Having found these in the Rivendell Reader, I went to their website and became intrigued by their philosophy. It takes me back to the old days of running before there was so much stuff between me and the road. I just fly down the road now.

The insoles, of course, are crap. You don't get good insoles in a $200 running shoe, let alone one that costs 1/3 of that. What really amazes me is that the laces are exactly the right length. Every shoe I've bought in the last couple years, running, work, whatever, has laces at least a foot too long and they come untied and I trip on them. Well thought out, Vitruvians!

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Mocha likes Cicadas

Walking the dogs this morning, I heard a semi-familiar buzz from the sidewalk below me. Mocha, the one-time foundling dog, came running, pulling Laurie behind her. She leaped onto the struggling cicada, lying on its back, devouring it. She found another later, eating it with a relish previous reserved for scraps of steak or chicken thrown from the table.

Monday, September 06, 2004

Why does the phrase

"Crazier than a Shithouse Rat" come to mind whenever I hear or see

Zell Miller?

And where do they get the name "Zell"?

Saturday, September 04, 2004

What Everyone Needs


I got these in the mail today after ordering them like, a month ago. Because of the delay, the artist (not The Artist)sent me 15 of them, more than I possibly could ever use. So I shared them with people at work.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Today at the Dog Park

Listened to DemocracyNow on the drive over to Penn Valley. I got to hear the title cut from the new Steve Earle album (I still call them albums, whatever media they're on). Rockin' song.

Also got to hear the speech from the Bush twins. Gawd almighty!!! It sounds like something one of the girls on the old Bob Hope specials. They were laughing at the jokes, giggling, to put a fine point on it, as though they were hearing them for the first time, reading haltingly. Someday, these girls, or one of their cousins, will be running for office against a Gulf War vet.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

From one bicyclist to another.

Bikes Against Bush Where are the police arresting the real criminals?

Monday, August 30, 2004

Been a Long Time, Lonely, Lonely, Lonely Time

Haven't updated for over a month now. What have I done?

  1. Rode my bicycle in Wisconsin
  2. Started working in a new position at the LNFG
  3. Bought stuff at Ikea in Chicago in a five hour shopping expedition, brought it home and assembled it.
  4. Sat in on the interviews for our new STL
  5. Run some
Still angry at the Republicans. Not doing enough to stop them. Did purchase this

Got a website to work on today. A Futon must be purchased for my mother in law coming this weekend.

That is all.

Monday, July 12, 2004

Yet another disaster

Last night at my post at the LNFG, we lost power for the second time in 3 weeks. Last time, it was due to an incompetent truck driver. Last night it was due to KCPL shutting off the power due to a swollen transformer or bulging transformer, so they closed off the power.

I felt a collective "Oooooh, FUCK!!!" hit the store as the power blinked. "Not again." We hurried people through the store and I started calling the bosses and then the repair people.

Now our water at home is turned off. I guess no shower before work today.

In other news, the heat goes on. Or rather commences. It's in the 90's here in the heart of America. I went running in the morning and then ate the number 46 Omelet at Bell Street Mama's, Jack Cheese and Avocado with hash browns and whole wheat toast and lots o' coffee.

I came home and took the dogs to the dog park where I ran into Kelly Sue and Captain Applejack, who appears to be doing very well.

Off for another night at LNFG..

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Doing What Must Be Done

I received an email from the local chair of the Kerry (now Kerry-Edwards) campaign, asking for volunteers to work a phone bank last night. So I went.

Let me say this; I don't like phone solicitors and I don't like being one. But with what's at stake (our country), I do what must be done.

Monday, July 05, 2004

What were they?

We rode down to Kaw Point on the 4th to see where the Lewis and Clark expedition were camped 200 years ago. The US Flag at that time had 15 stars, which leads me to wonder: What were the 14th and 15th states admitted to the Union?

Thursday, July 01, 2004

More Dirty Tricks

As E.C. once said, " I used to get disgusted but now I try to be amused."

Monday, June 28, 2004

Burning Question

Okay, I've made my preference in this election known and I even have a Kerry wallpaper with JFK and John Lennon on my desktop but I have to ask this.

Who is the guy in the background?

Monday, June 21, 2004

Worst Personal Ad?

Subject: Looking for a female racing partner


I am a male that just started running in March. I am currently training for 5K's and 10K's. I am looking for a female running partner to do the races with. I am not looking for a date just someone closer to my speed at this time. Besides all of my friends are female and I tend to get along better with women no offense guys. Anyway its more fun to race with people then alone. I am currently married and my wife runs with me during the week but she is a nurse and only works the weekends so she can never do the races with me. If

anyone is interested please respond.
It's the first day of Summer and Ronald Reagan is still dead

God only knows how long it has been since I last blogged.

Father forgive me for I have sinned. It has been 8 days since my last blog.

Anyway, what's on my plate?

1. Yellow Wristbands Everyone who knows someone who has suffered and/or died from cancer should get and wear one of these. I bought a package of ten and gave them to 8 people. Now, people are wanting more. Julie/Uma, in produce, wore one to her yoga class and now everyone there wants one. I count Lance Armstrong as one of my biggest heroes ( HH the Dalai Lama, Samuel Mockbee among others).

2. New job starts today at the Leading Natural Foods Grocer (hereafter LNFG).

3. The Upcoming Election - I attended a Kerry Block Party last night. Dave Suptic, father of one of the Get Up Kids said that they may be willing to do a benefit show for the John Kerry for President campaign. I sincerely believe that this election is too important for us to sit out. Young people should go to this site and buy the CD and organize and fight, fight, fight.

More later.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Well, this is it. The 12 year old boy that went down and bought McGovern buttons is now 44 years old and appalled by the current failure in our leadership. I am going to the John Kerry rally tomorrow. I will do everything I can to get rid of that man.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Stuff I've Found

Anyway, I was wearing this Aerosmith shirt today at work. I'm not much of an Aerosmith fan, not a fan at all. I do remember waking up each morning in the fall of 1973 hearing "Dream On" on the radio long before they hit big. So having to explain a couple times that I'm not an Aerosmith fan; I merely found the shirt on a dog walk and found it suitable for wearing under my whites at the fish counter.

Other good stuff I found:

1. book of e.e. cummings poems

2. Country fiddle video

3. My dog, Mocha

4. $50 bill (probably drug money)

5. roll of twenties (probably lost drinking money)

6. Teal striped polo shirt

7. Bicycle wheels for our garden fence.

8. Water Music by T. Coraghessan Boyle

That's all I can remember right now.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Fraternity Pranks?

Referring to the abuse of Iraqi prisoners as "fraternity pranks" or "frat hazing" is totally beside the point.

First of all, "frat hazing" has been banned almost everywhere and should be punished where it occurs.

Secondly, none of the Iraqis were, to my knowledge, trying to join the U.S. Military.

"You say that I am ignoring the time-honored traditions of the Royal Navy? And what might they be? I shall tell you in three words: rum, buggery and the lash! Good morning, sirs!"

-Winston Churchill addressing the Sea Lords, 1912
The, ummm, rest of the story

So, I was going to tell the story of how we came to have a third dog, Mocha.

In the fall of 2000, I had resolved to quit my job, with nothing in line. I was simply worn out, grinding my teeth, hating my life. On the Saturday morning before Labor Day, I went for a run with my dogs. I started thinking about the people that had left my (then) employer, by the company terminating them, by their taking other jobs. 16 out of a group of 60, most with over 5 years or more.

There was Bill, the attorney, who was having an affair with his assistant, when the president called him into the front office, telling him that one of them would have to leave. They both left, immediately.

There was Stanley, who took another job with a non-profit, and was called into the Chairman's office. The Chairman asked him, "What would it take to keep you here?"

Stanley responded, "You guys don't get it. I don't want to work here." The Chairman just about popped a blood vessel in his forehead.

So it went, as I ran, I thought of what I would do if I were fired. All the scenarios I ran through in my head seemed better than I was doing there. So I decided that I would quit, in a couple weeks.

I started investigating ways to get into technology, seeing where I could go to school to learn something that would get me into the work I wanted to do, the places where I wanted to work.

After a week, the pressure grew. I knew I was leaving. I simply needed to pull the trigger. I decided to give notice on September 11, 2000.

On that morning, I woke up at 4:00 AM, my brain thinking of what I had to do, how I would do what I had to do. I laid in bed thinking until 5:00 AM when I decided to get up and go for a run. I put on a pair of shorts and leashed up Chester and Tasha and headed out to the Plaza.

I remember nothing of the run except returning home around 41st Street. At Gillham Park, a trash barrel sat overflowing. Chester and Tasha lurched toward it, pulling me with them. In the twilight, I saw what appeared to be a dead rabbit. As I turned, the light grew somewhat brighter and I saw the rabbit was actually a small puppy. I picked it up with one hand, cradling it against my bare chest, holding the leash with my left hand.

It was about 6:00 AM when I came into the house, shouting, "Laurie, I found a puppy!!"

"It's a golden retriever," she said.

I went into work that morning and typed my resignation letter.

We found out later that someone had been giving away puppies from a car on Sunday, September 10. I suspect that some kid had brought her home and was told to take her "back where you got it." I'll never know. She was only 4 weeks old.

Monday, May 10, 2004

My Answer

In Billy Graham's column this morning, a reader asks, Do you think it's possible that Jesus has already returned to earth and is living in secret somewhere? A friend of mine thinks this is likely, although I don't know what evidence he has. -- S.R.

No, I'm sorry I think your friend has confused Jesus with Elvis.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Almost a month

It's been almost a month since I last blogged. Good Gosh. I'm Lazy.

Anyway, from a story by Kelly Sue about her dog, I'm remembering how I came to have Mocha, my golden mix. It's a long story which I shall tell tonight.

We had dinner with my brother last night. He's in town working on a project with Jack Henry. We picked him up there and as almost all my family adventures require, had to go immediately to TJMaxx so he could pick up a black belt, which he had forgotten to pack on this trip.

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

More email, more rebuttals

Don't know who did the research, but this is interesting. It would be more interesting if it were true.

Shortly after reading the following e-mail content, I happened to look at the label of a jar of Heinz sandwich slice pickles. Yep...."Made in Mexico"

Check some of your Heinz products.

"Sen. John Kerry keeps talking about U.S. corporations leaving this country and setting up shop in foreign countries, taking thousands of jobs with them. He is right, because that has happened. However, he is trying to blame it on George W. Bush.

As far as I know, Bush has not moved one factory out of this country because he is not the owner of a single factory.

That cannot be said about Kerry and his wife, Teresa Heinz-Kerry.

According to the Wall Street Journal, the Kerrys own 32 factories in Europe and 18 in Asia and the Pacific. In addition, their company, the Heinz Company leases four factories in Europe and four in Asia. Also, they own 27 factories in North America, some of which are in Mexico and the Caribbean.

I wonder how many hundreds of American workers lost their jobs when these plants relocated in foreign countries. I also wonder if the workers in Mexico and Asia are paid the same wages and benefits as workers in the United States.

Of course they're not. However, Kerry demands that other companies that relocate should pay the same benefits they did in the U.S. Why does he not demand this of the Heinz Company, since he is married to the owner?

If Kerry is elected, will he and his wife close all those foreign factories and bring all those jobs back to America? Of course they won't. They're making millions off that cheap labor.

A cursory search on Google will reveal this press release.

H.J. Heinz Company Confirms Its Widely Held Public Ownership And Non-Partisan Status

Business Editors

PITTSBURGH--(BUSINESS WIRE)--March 22, 2004--In light of some misleading speculation, the H.J. Heinz Company would like to make clear that neither Mrs. Teresa Heinz Kerry, Senator John Kerry nor any member of their family is involved in the management or board of the H.J. Heinz Company (NYSE:HNZ). They have no involvement in the Heinz(R) Ketchup business or any of the company's other brands or products.

The H.J. Heinz Company, in accordance with its corporate governance policies, is a non-partisan organization.

Neither Mrs. Heinz Kerry nor Senator Kerry nor any of the Heinz trusts or endowments - either individually or collectively - holds a significant percentage of shares of the H.J. Heinz Company. In 1995 the Heinz Endowments and family trusts sold a large percentage of Heinz shares in a secondary share offering to diversify their holdings. As a result, their current holdings are under 4 percent.

There is no connection between any philanthropic programs of the H.J. Heinz Company and its Foundation and the Heinz family interests (including the Howard Heinz Endowment, the Vira Heinz Endowment, and the Heinz Family Philanthropies).

Currently, 60% of the sales of the H.J. Heinz Company are outside the United States and to accommodate those customers by providing facilities closer to those markets, the company maintains a number of overseas facilities that provide products for consumers in those markets. This allows Heinz to pack the freshest ingredients, tailor its recipes to local tastes and deliver the final products in a timely and efficient manner. In the United States, Heinz makes its flagship ketchup in factories in Fremont, Ohio; Muscatine, Iowa; and Stockton, California.

ABOUT HEINZ: H.J. Heinz Company is one of the world's leading producers and marketers of branded foods in ketchup, condiments, sauces, meals, soups, seafood, snacks and infant foods. Heinz is a global family of leading brands, including Heinz(R) Ketchup, sauces, soups, beans, pasta and infant foods (representing nearly one-third of total sales), Ore-Ida(R) french fries, Boston Market(R) and Smart Ones(R) meals and Plasmon(R) baby food. Heinz's 50 companies have number-one or number-two brands in 200 countries, showcased by Heinz(R) Ketchup, the world's favorite ketchup. Information on Heinz is available at

1) Heinz Corporation is a private R&D firm.

2) HJ Heinz Co. is a publicly traded company of which Mrs. Kerry niether sits on the board of directors, is not an officer of the company nor is she listed as one of the largest stock holders.

The Heinz family sold the company in 1987, and retained no management role.

Monday, April 05, 2004

I am blue cheese!

So there you go.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

What's really important.

This was in Kelly Sue's blog. Now I will admit to thinking about this sort of thing as much as the next guy but really. To invest money in it, and to spend this much time and effort on it. What I really like is all the bonuses

Bonus #1: Body Art and Stenciling Kit ($9.95 value)

Bonus #2: Creative Ways to Color Your Curlies ($9.95 value)

Bonus #3: Style Guide for Guys ($9.95 value)

Bonus #4: Hot Pink Monthly eZine

My check is in the email.

Friday, March 26, 2004


This was forwarded to me by my father, who I'm sure sent it to everyone on his list or at least a good number of them. a word of caution because I'm not positive these numbers are precise - but if I read it correctly, there were 39 combat related killings in Iraq during the month of January.... in the fair city of Detroit there were 35 murders in the month of January. That's one American city folks, about as deadly as the entire war torn country of Iraq.

This is related how?

The following appeared in the Durham, NC local paper as a letter to the editor. Please forward to all on your list, as this will put things in perspective:

Liberals claim President Bush shouldn't have started this war. They complain about his prosecution of it. "Liberals" in this case means anybody who disagrees with the president or might not wholeheartedly support everything he does, as if we did that for Clinton One liberal recently claimed Bush was the worst president in U.S. history. He is. Not that he was actually elected or anything but as Archie Bunker once said about Gerald Ford, "He's doing pretty good for a guy nobody voted for!"Let's clear up one point: We didn't start the war on terror. Try to remember, it was started by terrorists BEFORE 9/11. Terrorists started the war on terror? They are crazy!

Let's look at the "worst" president and mismanagement claims.

FDR led us into World War II. Germany never attacked us: Japan did. From 1941-1945, 450,000 lives were lost, an average of 112,500 per year. Truman finished that war and started one in Korea; North Korea never attacked us. From 1950-1953, 55,000 lives were lost, an average of 18,333 per year.

John F. Kennedy started the Vietnam conflict in 1962. Vietnam never attacked us. Johnson turned Vietnam into a quagmire. From 1965-1975, 58,000 lives were lost, an average of 5,800 per year. Aren't we supposed to learn from the mistakes of the past, not repeat them?

Clinton went to war in Bosnia without UN or French consent. NATO doesn't count in this contextBosnia never attacked us.

He was offered Osama bin Laden's head on a platter three times by Sudan and did nothing. Osama has attacked us on multiple occasions. By someone trying to take over Sudan, now a FOX news commentator, not credible in either capacity.

In the two years since terrorists attacked us, President Bush has liberated two countries, crushed the Taliban, crippled al-Qaida?, put nuclear inspectors in Libya, Iran and North Korea without firing a shot, and captured a terrorist who slaughtered 300,000 of his own people. We lost 600 soldiers, an average of 300 a year. Bush did all this abroad while not allowing another terrorist attack at home. Another? 3000 people died in the first one while he was reading a book about a goat to some schoolchildren.Worst president in history? Yes, at least since Andrew Johnson.

Come on!!!! I think our President is "GREAT! Do the quotation marks on just one side have some meaning I don't get? "GREAT", I understand. He's not great; you're just making those little bunny ears with your fingers.

The Democrats are complaining about how long the war is taking, but... It took less time to take Iraq than it took Janet Reno to take the Branch Davidian compound. That was a 51-day operation. But it's over now. We don't know when the Iraq war might end. Just proclaiming "Mission Accomplished" doesn't make it so.

We've been looking for evidence of chemical weapons in Iraq for less time than it took Hillary Clinton to find the Rose Law Firm billing records. It took less time for the 3rd Infantry Division and the Marines to destroy the Medina Republican Guard than it took Teddy Kennedy to call the police after his Oldsmobile sank at Chappaquiddick.

It took less time to take Iraq than it took to count the votes in Florida!! Maybe, if Saddam had used a bunch of Republican congressional staffers rather than the Republican Guard, he might still be in power

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

More Well Reasoned and Insightful

Anyway, I'm feeling better today but keep thinking of this, a metaphor for my recent career efforts. So it goes.

Anyway, I spent a good deal of yesterday digging horse manure and managing to receiving a call from New York Life. My driving around time was spent listening to "Reefer Madness" which I found very interesting and worthwhile. The story of Reuben Sturman, a man so secretive I cannot find his picture on Google fascinates me. His transformation from aspiring businessman selling remaindered comics to Godfather of the sex industry to fugitive tax cheat is amazing. Basically, he was a pioneer, developing many of the techniques for hiding money that were later expanded by Enron.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Anger Management

What would it take to set you over the edge? How does one deal with the feelings of worthlessness?

Friday, March 19, 2004

From my desk calendar.

A handful of shortsighted people have always existed. But overall, their day is over because the public's attitude toward war and violence has become much healthier than at any time in history. -- HH the Dalai Lama

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Scorpio Style:

don't ever tell scorpios they've had enough, for
they'll smirk at you and quietly but
intentionaly keep tipping till they're hog
whipering drunk, out of 100-proof spite.
Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you
have a problem with that. most of them see the
sauce as something to savour in itself, and not
as a personality-altering tool -- though if
depressed, self-loathingScorpios seek total
obliteration. but generaly, they're facinating
drinking pals, brilliant conversation runners
and dizzying flirts. they also remember
everything -- espescally what you got up to
when you were blitzed. only drink with a
Scorpio that likes you.

Alcohoroscopes MRK 2- the stars and your drinking style
brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Cooking and Resolutions

Not that I have many options at this point. but I'm thinking if I stay with my present job at the company whose name I had best not speak, out of discretion. In the next couple of years, I would like to move to Colorado but do so at a rate of pay that would enable Laurie to retire, or at least for me to be the primary wage earner.

Anyway, current company is growing but I'm only making 9.75 per hour right now and I need to be making more, earning more, I should say, because I feel as though I'm being paid adequately for the work I'm being asked to perform. I just want to do something that's more demanding.

On another note, Rebecca and I are teaching a cooking class at the store tonight. It's "Fish: Fast, Fun and Fearless". I've been trying to get this done for over a year, almost two.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Gee it's good to be back home again

Just drove across Kansas in a rainstorm. I really feel alive in Colorado, or at least the mountains.

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Later that Day

Well, it's come to this again. I'm not blogging often enough and when I do, it's about not blogging often enough.

So, what's happening? I really hate that question because I don't know. I don't have an answer for anything anymore. I feel totally inarticulate. My brain is empty. I need some new stimulation, something new to do.

I'm frustrated at my career's state, or lack thereof. I can't seem to get any traction at my current employer and I can't find anywhere else that will take me. I need a class or someplace to go and learn something new.

Such as? More HTML, reload (warm up) my Java. Database stuff.

Thursday, February 05, 2004

I have been away over the last couple weeks. Not in interest of completing this:

create your own visited states map but just to get away and kick back for awhile with my wife and our in-laws.

Monday, January 19, 2004

7 Minutes

I'm going to write this by midnight and then go to bed.

Anyway, I set out to learn to be a web developer a few years back, wanting to be in on the cool stuff. I know some rudimentary html but I can't figure out how to get the fucking comments to work on this thing. Other people get this stuff and can do it. Why can't I?

What can I learn tomorrow? A little bit and the next day? A Little more.

Baby steps, baby steps and soon we're walking and running.

Also I'm reading Desire of the Everlasting Hills by Thomas Cahill or listening to the audiobook on my commute and it's fascinating. I grew up in a Christian home and had lapsed out of my religion, but it's intriguing to learn the history of Christ and the early church in a full historical context.

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

On Religion

I'm an atheist, not an agnostic. I prefer certainty.
Oh my God, they killed.....

I have started out to update this thing a couple days ago and the system crashed. So here I am, trying once again.

Last week, we lost Kenny. Not that we really lost him, for he was already a lost cause. He was fighting with everyone at every turn.

One day, he came with a hammer-and-sickle t-shirt (lots of hyphenation there) and said, "Hey, look!! Do you agree?"

"It hasn't been demonstrated to work."

So we discussed it awhile. I gave up when he told me that Cuba would be okay if we'd only trade with them but that "Fidel knows what's best for his people".

In later weeks, he took to coming in more stoned than before, to the point where I noticed. When the bosses noticed, they'd ask me. Other team members noticed.

He managed to screw up enough to the point that he was on notice, written up and then called one Friday afternoon, 10 minutes before his shift began and told me he wouldn't make it in that day. Turned out that he had pissed off his girlfriend so much that she had left him and their daughter in Riverside and driven off in a rage. That put him on final notice.

As happens so often, he determined that he was a victim and not responsible for his actions and everyone was picking on him. A few days later, he came in early for his shift and futzed with the computer in the office for awhile. I had a 3:00 meeting for which he was to cover me.

3:00 PM and no show, he had disappeared. I got someone to cover me by 10 after 3 so I could hit the meeting.

Came out of the meeting to find he had made the rounds at 2:30, reeking of alcohol then gone out to smoke a joint.

No surprise that he is no longer among us.